you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
