Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
