"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
There's always time for handjobs
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
