he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
operation have a gay friend backfired
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
