She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
