He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
