i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize