I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
