Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
