I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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