is your mom at the bar?
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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