hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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