He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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