All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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