would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
