White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
