last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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