Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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