i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
