..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
