even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
