Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
