Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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