well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
two words: eviction party
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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