who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
HIV tests are more positive than that guy
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
