38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
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