Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
