Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
