I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Randomize
