I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
