So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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