That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i dont even know how to be here
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
