Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
