So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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