I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
