STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
