Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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