My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
