Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
