is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
