he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
