come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
