I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
