i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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