Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
