u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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