yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Pooping to opera.
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