Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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