Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
