Cold hands, warm shart.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
