I wanna bring you to show and tell
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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