Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
