Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
