He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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