Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
