Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
