Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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