There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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