I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize