How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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