Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Someone came in the potted fern
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
