Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
