To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize