Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
