How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
sex in a hospital.. check
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
