I want you more than these girls want KFC
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
