I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize