Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The beer is more important than you right now.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
